


And He Calls Me Moonlight Too

by cafephan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Reality, Slight Existentialism, slight angst, vidcon 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 10:03:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11311080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafephan/pseuds/cafephan
Summary: Late night balcony chats about stars, the universe and the future.





	And He Calls Me Moonlight Too

"Do you ever wonder how stars stay up there for so long?" Phil asks as he passes over the bottle of some form of alcohol they stole away from the first night Vidcon party.

They're sitting on their hotel room balcony in the early hours, far before the sun even considers raising its head. Their sleeping schedules are messed up already thanks to jet lag and missed alarms. They've already been made to swap hotel rooms twice due to 'mixups' on the hotel's behalf, though Dan highly suspects their management has pulled some strings (the screaming crowds had kept various members of the team awake, apparently).

"The safety and comfort of our creators has never been higher" said the hotel staff as they forced a smile and lugged Dan and Phil's suitcases to yet another room. Phil made sure to tip them generously for their time and efforts, and Dan offered a thousand times to help, but was refused every time. 

"I’m sure there's a very easy scientific explanation for that, Phil" Dan replies and takes a drink from the bottle before resting it between his legs. "But quite frankly I don't care to recall it."

"Do they ever make you feel, I don't know, trapped?"

The question takes Dan by surprise, and he's sure his mouth has dropped open a little as he turns to look at Phil, who is biting his lip.

"Trapped?" Dan repeats, and Phil nods.

"I don't know, sometimes looking up at stars make me feel like the world isn't as big and expansive as everyone raves about it to be," he sighs, "Sometimes it just looks like the padded ceiling of a child's shitty nursery. It's weird, sorry."

"It's not weird" Dan assures him, "I've just not really thought of it that way for a while."

_Not since I met you_ , his sub-conscious adds.

They fall into silence, passing the bottle to each other and taking little swigs, until the alcohol is all gone and the bottle rests at their feet.

"I feel like the world is as big as you want it to be." Dan hears himself say, and he half hopes it doesn't turn into one of his infamous improvised philosophies. 

But the way Phil is now looking at him, eyes wide and curious, makes him want to ramble until his mouth runs dry.

"I mean, look where we are. We're halfway across the fucking world with people paying a fuckton of money to see us as part of this crazy world we became part of just by making videos in our bedrooms. I think the stars would be jealous of us, to be honest. If they weren't inanimate objects."

"Stars wouldn't need to be jealous of us, though. They're so pretty."

Dan nudges Phil's arm. "So are you, dork."

"Shut up," Phil rubs his hands over his face to try and hide his blush (it fails). "Stars are, like, glowy pretty."

"You're glowy pretty too. When your eyes light up when you're really happy and when you're in that half-waking up stage in the mornings and your skin is milky glowy almost."

Phil shakes his head. "Beauty is individual to everyone."

Dan smiles. "It is. So what's to say i'm wrong?"

Phil's hand finds Dan's and squeezes lightly. Dan's sure he feels a little bit of that very same glowy beauty transfer over to his skin when it touches Phil's.

"You should never feel trapped." Dan runs his thumb over the back of Phil's hand.

"It's rare. But sometimes I just wonder if the world really is endless or if someday it'll just... stop."

"Do you want it to stop?" Dan asks, and presses his lips together.

"Never," Phil answers instantly. "I never want this to stop."

"Then it won't."

They fall into silence once more, and Phil moves to rest his head on Dan's shoulder.

"Thank you" Phil says after a minute or so, and Dan squeezes his hand. He's thankful too.

The night air is just warm enough that it's the same outside as it is inside, and Dan is so cosy beside Phil that he slowly feels himself falling asleep, despite not being tired at all, say, twenty minutes prior.

"Do you think we're going too slowly?" 

The question snaps Dan back into full consciousness.

"What?" it's a question valid for many of the thoughts he's having.

Phil sits up and places his hands in his lap. 

"Louise is having another baby, we know six couples that have bought houses recently, nearly ten that have a pet... and what are we doing?"

"We're living."

Phil pinches the bridge of his nose and then returns to his previous position. "Is that enough?"

"It's gotten us this far."

Phil smiles for a second. When it drops, Dan's stomach does too. "But how much further can it get us? We're not stars, Dan, we're not going to live forever."

Dan wraps his arm around Phil's shoulders, pulling him closer. 

"We've narrowed down shelters for our future dogs. We've narrowed down an area for a forever home. Fuck, we've even looked at different adoption agencies." He pauses to smile, at imagining all of those things finally coming to fruition. "Phil, we're moving forward, like we always have done. We're just taking the time to breathe inbetween."

"Well, it is nice to breathe" Phil laughs, and Dan is reassured once again that Phil's laugh is indeed his favourite sound in existence. 

He can't resist any longer, and leans in to kiss Phil. It's only a soft kiss, nothing more is needed, but it still leaves Dan's stomach doing flips, as their kisses still often do. Phil then pulls him in for another kiss, this one longer and deeper, and leaves them both with tiny gasps for air when they part. 

The smile on Phil's face when he looks into Dan's eyes is more than enough to remind him that they'll be okay. Of _course_ they'll be okay. More than okay.

He has Phil, and Phil has him, and that's all they really need by this point. Past the subscribers and the revenue and the fame, they're still the exact same people at their core, and that's what makes them so undeniably strong (though not physically, a squirrel could definitely beat them both in an arm wrestling contest).

The moonlight is bouncing off of Phil's face and Dan cherishes sights like this, the man he loves with his whole heart in such a beautiful state. He wants to take a million pictures, commemorate it forever, so that future generations hundreds of thousands of years away can look back and know that Phil Lester was the definition of beauty. At least in Dan Howell's eyes. 

Phil is glowing just like the very same stars he admires, and Dan is more than willing to wish upon a star that it never changes.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is one i wrote in under ten minutes the other day whilst i was on holiday and couldn't sleep and was on my hotel room balcony at 2am, and is one of my 'stream of consciousness fics' as i have taken to calling them, hope you enjoyed, please leave a kudos and comment if you did and share it if you think someone else would like it
> 
> follow me on twitter @bloggerhowell as i'm really active over there and always freaking out over something dnp related, it's a good laugh
> 
> and thank you for all your support as always, i appreciate you all so very much <3 
> 
> (ps the title is from Moonlight by Ariana Grande, thought it was accurate)


End file.
